frustrated yet calm.
Just wrote whole blog only to have power outage.
Blog is now gone. What does that mean?
Should I re write it, or should I just move forward.
Or should I even go back and edit my previous entry, which is riddled with typos, and grammar mistakes ( which will probably never be worked out, due to my inability to apply formulaic methods to any kind of thought ESPECIALLY those that are creative.) Formulas belong in math. I simply can not visualize a tiny bit of any kind of math. and that includes judging heights and distances. the entire concept seems to fake. Trying to see things that the eyes can not, for the purpose of making more comparisons the eyes cant make. and adding them all up for some reason. What reason? I don't know. Lengths heights. Cant this be done by seeing rather then figuring? The world I live in personally is one where the things I need are all in close range. I keep what I need close, and light. I don't collect. I try not to want.
The very thought of math or science at all makes me completely fumed. I feel as If someone has left me all stabby gougey. with holes and ropes tied and strung through my stomach.
Its that bad.
People who say art is math can fuck off
And Id Love someone to respond to this post explaining why math isn't complicated or societal unnecessary higgely piggely.
counting. adding dividing, like some nervous freak who cant just live and walk around in the world and learn about things that are helpful. Like how to climb up a clay hill. slippery fuckers. I end up face in the ground sliding back down while the mucky clay treats my Nose like a play doh appliance, and I end up exhaling long noodle shaped clogs of dirt through my nostrils.
Yes someone tell me how math will help this. No ropes allowed and no rulers and no way to measure how steep the god damned hill is. Because I was a human and I wasn't born with tools so I seldom use them. sure id use a ruler.
but using a ruler would mean that Id have to FIRST CLIMB THE HILL in order to measure it. And i don't even know what measuring it would help any way. besides then I would have to craft the ruler myself. and make up my own unit of measuring. which seems stupid. what can I craft myself? eventually- a rope- some clothing- a knife of sorts- some baskets- a walking stick. but yes. Id like to not depend on anything unless I can make it with things in my vicinity. things I can comprehend. I don't even have a cellphone. which Is a shocker to some people. I do enjoy the computer and my cameras. But I'm not going to use them in the woods to help me calculate anything. Go ahead debate me. try to tell me why art is math. you can go on and on but I think it might just be peoples need to have some sort of law, a safety net. I don't think any of it is really there. not unless we point it out. its something I cant explain to you. Math might have made many things but math is not everything. I cant explain how I feel. Only that at this point all I feel is angry and defensive. I never use math unless I must. Life doesn't need math is what I'm saying. people can do things without having to count and figure out why.
Life doesn't need a lot of things. In fact Wouldn't wear clothes if I didn't have to.